Decisions, decisions....
Decisions decisions....
It's funny how some things can seem to incite so much stress at first, and then ultimately be the cure that resolves a great deal of said stress. What the heck am I talking about? Deciding...making decisions.
For instance, right now we are in the midst of renovations to our home. Most of the time I am just grateful that I can even consider making such improvements, I am really blessed I know. But some things stress me out and that is making decisions about what to do with this or that space, like, what to do about some flooring, do we refinish the old and try to match it up with the new or re-do the whole thing? Do we pick this paint color or that one? What light fixture do we want and where is it going to be?
Why the fuss? Well of course money is involved, and if there are not bottomless pots of it, one likes to feel that the choices one makes will be good ones and stand the test of time, and be enjoyed for years to come. Sure you can say, "decide...you can always change your mind later...", but sometimes you can't, at least without considerable expense and/or unpheaval or inconvenience.
So you stew and review and research and compare, weighing costs and convenience and potential longevity and all sorts of factors. While the process of making the decision is sometimes excruciating, especially when there is a fear of committing to the "wrong" thing, or that something better or cheaper will come along just after you've committed to the something good that is in hand, the state of having decided is heavenly! The deed is done, the confusion is over, the knot is out of my stomach, a weight is lifted and one can get on with other things! Having decided, I find, one way or another, is a huge relief!!
And what if the decision is a BIG one, or at least one where the results of it cannot easily be changed? What if it is life-changing? Well, research is important, if applicable, as much as possible, although you will still stew and worry until you actually make the choice. And sometimes it is a gut feeling, you can study it all you want, depending on what it is, but sometimes you just have to go with your gut or your heart....and try to get really clear as to what you honestly want.
And if it is the wrong decision in the end? Well, the deed is done, and like anything, there is no value in beating yourself up about stuff that is done, that is past. The next step is, can you decide to do something else now? And if not now, what can you at least learn from having made this "wrong" or bad decision. The real failure is not in having made a poor choice but in not gaining any wisdom from having made that choice and experiencing the consequences. Presumably making a bad choice one time will cause you to learn to choose differently next time and make better decisions in future.
Back to the idea of whether the decision may be life-changing...In the Anthony Robbins book, Awaken the Giant Within, he devotes a whole chapter to decisions, calling them "The Pathway To Power". He clarifies that, in his mind, something isn't a "true" decision unless it is acted upon. If you choose to do something and then do not actually do it, that's not a decision yet. The power comes from actually putting it into action because it is from our actions that consequences flow and thus shape our lives. And our action is evidence of our commitment to the decision.
Decisions are another one of those things we must do if we ever hope to grow, change and improve our situation in life. We must make choices, and act upon them. Only then is there movement. Without choosing we stay stuck, in limbo, and if we have problems or issues that plague us, they persist. As Robbins points out, it's not so much the conditions of our lives that shape our destiny, but the decisions we make about what to do from there. Or as my husband is heard to say, somewhat bluntly, to people who complain repeatedly about their lot in life, "So, what are you going to do about it?"
It's simple and not so simple, many choices are complex and consequences must be thought through. But a quote from Roy Disney says, "It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are." Well, it certainly makes life easier when you have the guidelines of your values to shape it. But it is true that nothing is going to change without somebody making and acting upon a decision that sets some change in motion. And if you can't control whether anyone else is going to do it, you can at least recognize your own power to choose.
A decision ends excuses, it ends worry (well, unless you then sit around worrying about the consequences of what you have just decided. ..and you know what they say about worry..."it's like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere!") A decision ends stuckness and inertia at least for the time being, and it's always easier to make course corrections once in motion than when you are stuck in neutral.
So, as we step into spring, a season of new growth and creation, what decisions have you been sitting on, dithering over, that are leaving you feeling stuck, worried and draining your energy? Is there a decision, even a tiny one, that you can make today, followed through with action (which is a sign of your commitment to your decision), that can get things moving for you? Every small decision will gradually give you the confidence for the bigger ones. Like anything else, it is a practice. It is also a privilege. Enjoy it and claim the power of it!
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